Why’d you have to do that?

Today something came in the mail for M’s ex wife. Yes, EX WIFE. There’s a whole lot of drama around that… one thing, I thought she’d never go away. It would never just be us… she would always linger, always want a friendship… always TRY. Very stressful situation for everyone involved… finally, she went away. I breathed a sigh of relief. But she kept popping up… he kept checking in on her to make sure she was okay… I, being selfish yes, wanted her to just GO AWAY. So after months of peace… mail comes today in her name. With OUR address. Being crazy I first thought about throwing it away… then I thought I’d just “return to sender” but that for some reason felt “sneaky” even though I’m just returning mail to some one who doesn’t live here. Ugh. Then I thought, why did M have to get married. He wasn’t thinking is always what he says. Why couldn’t you just THINK. I don’t want to be this person who has the urge to erase an ex. The only reason I do is she was so involved when we were involved. She’s not just the last ex… she’s not just some old girlfriend. She was his WIFE and she was still around when I came into the picture.

UGH. In an effort to communicate better with M I sent him this email:

“Just so this doesn’t eat at me and I “communicate” with you, because yes, I am still crazy… it bothered me that something came in the mail in [Wifey's] name with OUR address. And yes, I did think about throwing it out and wished you had never been married… Sorry, wish this wasn’t such a damn issue with  me, but it is.”

Bleh.