Day 8… TIRED.

I am so tired… I’ve been tired for a week now. Must just be adjusting to going back to work, which drains life and energy out of me. My knots are back… I’m cranky, and “wind-down” time is much needed. I was planning to go to bed AT 10:30 last night so I could wake up and run before work, but M thought it was a good plan to watch the end of Green Mile (which I loved). Instead of being “just another half hour” it was an hour and a half. So needless to say, I didn’t wake up on time.

Last night I had gone to the gym and lifted arms and ran. I didn’t run the whole 20 minutes… but man did it feel good. When I was really stressed out at an old job I would run for an hour. Or run so hard I would fall asleep the second I got home. Yes, I really HATE working. Not because I’m lazy… I just hate the 9 - 5. This hasn’t been horrible… I mean it sucks. They are unorganized, messy and argue… but I leave between 1:30 and 2:30. The drive is way too long and my car is only one year old with two years worth of miles on it… ugh. Let’s not go there.

Today I bought a notebook! For my Scanner Daybook/DaVinci notebook! I bought one just like my journal, only bigger and started collecting my thoughts on my poetry book. I still feel stuck on it though… I have 24 poems selected and a lot more to type up and choose from… I wish that was done. Because I want to move to the next step of figuring out the page count and layout/organization… so then… I can figure out which poems get art and what I’m going to do! In this last little bout of uncertainty, I lost my “roll” of inspiration. I wasn’t having ideas… not drawing… creating every day… but wanting to. I think focusing on the poetry book will be good though. Diving in to one and only one project will be fun. I’m enjoying writing about it and coming up with ideas in my daybook. My mind has focused solely on that which is also good. When I’m flipping through a design magazine trying to get inspiration to use at work… I see things that inspire my poetry book pages. I also see things that I think would be cool… wouldn’t this “art” or that “art” be awesome for a roadtrip story/prose/poem? I should write that! I’m also getting stuck on the making it part. What paper? How to bind? How hard is it to bind? Where the heck am I going to bind in this messy apartment!?

I’m deciding on how many to make… give away… sell? I’m thinking I’ll 100% handmake one. For me. Then, either reproduce and print from home the rest, hand bind. OR, print through blurb. I’m still going to make them all awesome either way… all the covers will be hand assembled… whether I print from home or through blurb, I’m going to still “tip” things in. A tip-in is a print term for adding things into a printed piece… adding a photo to a page, etc.

Tonight, M may not make it home before my bedtime. He’s got basketball and work to do… so I’ll type up the rest of the poems… so I can move forward! I guess I don’t even need to type them all right? Just write the names down… duh.