Day 7… Priorities

Today was a pretty good day. Last night was great. I went over to A’s and was introduced to Sex and the City! Love it, so far. Then A was heading out with her roommate and roommate’s boyfriend on their motorcycles… and I got to ride along for a short lap! I’ve never been on one… it was so much fun. I love speed. It wasn’t scary, I thought it might be, the whole, out there in the open thing. But I had a blast! Then I came home and started working on some freelance that’s been lingering over my “can’t design” head. M came home from basketball around 8:30. He said he wanted to hang out and talk with me… so we went to eat pie and burritos at the Denver Diner. Oreo cream pie… mmmm… not good for the diet! We talked for quite awhile. It was wonderful. I started talking to him about what I’m going through right now. It started with “I don’t want to be a designer anymore…” even though I never meant it like it sounded. I just meant that I didn’t want to do anything. Nothing was appealing and everything feels hard. He really helped talk me through things. We talked about putting the move off longer because I’d really like to be in a better place before making another drastic change in my life. Moving, new jobs, new location, living with family… the possibility of no job and no money in an expensive place… etc. I want to pay off my credit cards… reduce my debt, have savings… be happier, healthier… and M and I to get back to that great place. I told him how I have my list of things I need/want to change in my life. He said it so simply… “just take it one thing at a time. check one thing off at a time.” That, along with yesterdays response, made me want to sit down with my list and figure out what’s really important.

And I did. I came up with the 10 Need To Dos and why they are a necessity:

1. Be in shape: Being in shape is important because it will also take care of other issues… like managing my stress, being healthier and doing more things active. It will help me to be more confident, feel comfortable in my skin and feel more attractive.

2. Be healthier: Eating better, working out, taking vitamins… all this will lead to being in shape, feeling better and all of the above (#1) benefits. This involves taking better care of my teeth… I’ve spent some money on cavities lately… taking better care of my teeth and gums means less cavities and dental bills.

3. Manage my stress: If my stress is under control I will feel better… I will be sick less, have less back and neck pain, be happy and healthier.

4. More “me” time: Something both M and I are starting to get. Me time is so important because it helps me figure out who “me” is. It relaxes me and gives me time to be alone and think. Time to do whatever I want and “fill the well” (credit to Chelsea). This whole well thing really is important, something I need to make time for.

5. Be more spiritual: I’m fascinated with the mentality and ideas of Buddhism. I love it. But I don’t know much about it. I feel like learning more about it, and spirituality in general, will help me to find balance, be a better person, manage my stress and focus on what’s really important in life.

6. Have a best friend: It’s important that I have that outside support that’s not M. I love him dearly, and I want support from him, but I need me a good old fashion girlfriend. Someone to hang out with… to talk to, to shop with… to watch bad TV with. I need that.

7. Be happy with M: We’re on our way… but not being happy in my relationship has been a strain on my life in a lot of ways for a long time… pre M. I love M, this I know… and I want us to be happy. I need to communicate with him what my needs are better….

8. Express myself: Self expression is extremely important to my well being. This I know. The last time I was truly happy and in tune with myself was when I expressed myself freely in many creative ways.

9. Be cleaner and more organized: Living in boxes clutters not only my space but my mind. It’s taking over my life. I need to clear my life and mind of all the useless things. Cluttered space, like the apartment, makes me stressed and unhappy.

10. Be financially stable: I need to get my finances in order as they have been a mess and a huge cause of stress for me for a long time. This involves eliminating all my debt (credit cards and such), living within my means, and saving.

I did good. And I really clarified for myself what’s important… because as you can see, the list is quite long. The important things are obvious… and now I can focus on just 12 things vs… a lot. I’m pretty content right now. I had some good me time doing this… sitting in front of the TV watching King of Queens while sorting through my list. Time to think in quite while M is out watching basketball. I would like to have a day to myself once a week. To do whatever I want. Roll out of bed late… eat breakfast when and where I want… do what I want without someone else around.

That’s all for now…