Day 6… IDK No More

Like I’ve been saying… over and over and over again… I DON’T KNOW. I feel like the only thing I know, is that I don’t know anything. Well enough. The words “I don’t know” are being removed from my vocabulary once and for all. Right above… that’s the last of it. PERIOD. So this is an “I know” post:

I know… that I love my kitty despite his crazy spats and constant nagging. I know that M and I will work things out, may not be right now, but it will be sometime soon. I know that soon I will be able to move forward from my life with the ex, May 14th, it will be over whether I win or not and that’s all I care about. I know that I can now make ends meet. I know that someday I will be living in beautiful Hawaii and that right now, I need to repair my damaged self. I know that I will figure this all out. I know that I am loved and I will soon have the support system I need. I know I am a good designer and that everyone suffers from creative blocks. I know, I will someday know much more.

I posted on the forums for the Refuse to Choose book… I posted my frustrations about feeling unable to get things done and focus… one girl replied:

It seems that you really have a LOT you want to do. Do you have a Scanner Daybook to capture all of your ideas? This is really important because otherwise you are going in circles always just thinking about them and being afraid you might forget them. So, write your ideas down. For me, sometimes I have to write several pages about an idea and sometimes an entrance into my “perhaps someday” list is enough. Often, writing about an idea satisfies me so much that I don’t really have to start the project at all.

It might help to focus on only a handful of projects for a month. Decide which 5 projects you want to work on for the next 4 weeks and put the others on hold. That way your schedule will be more relaxed to stick to. And you know that you can change projects in a few weeks time. I set up these hanging folders where you throw everything into (don’t know their name) for each project and have a box with my current projects in the living room. I am set up to work on each project within a minute. The folders with projects that are not on schedule for this month go into the filing cabinet in the bedroom. This really works very well for me as I can focus on a few projects at a time and still get a lot done on the long run.

Don’t despair! You’ll find your way of setting up a schedule that works.

She mentions the “scanner daybook” and her “perhaps someday list” in there… the scanner daybook is supposed to be along the lines of DaVinci’s notebooks. He captured everything in there… every idea, every sketch… every to do list and plans. Research and notes. Everything. I LOVE DaVinci. He’s amazing. A brilliant man who was capable in every area. When I was younger I was so inspired by him… I was going to be a renaissance woman… I was going to read books on everything in the world and know so much… do so much… be so much. And while I never really did that, I still very much think and live in those ways. I want so much from life. I have so much to do and I want so much to give and help in this world.

So this post sparked some thoughts. First… I need a scanner daybook. I love the book I’m using as a journal and plan to get one of those… maybe even tonight. Keep it with me… use it always. I wrote about this before. I used to use sketchbooks and I’d plan out my projects (mostly school work). Page after page was filled with research and notes… ideas and flowcharts… messy and wonderful. A place for it all… and I also need to really categorize things. A “perhaps someday” list. There are things I know will work and be wonderful and even provide funding for other things… those are more important. There are some, that really, don’t HAVE to get done. They have no place bothering me when I’m working on other things… they’re for a rainy day when I’m bored and flip back through my daybook for something to do.

Anyways… I have work to do and books to invest in… so I will be back tomorrow.

Today, day 6 away from blogs and creative sites… doing okay