What does the future hold?

My mom sent me an email this morning telling me that ATA had went bankrupt. M and I were looking at ATA for flights to Hawaii and thankfully hadn’t purchased any. Now we’ll have to look at more expensive flights, if any. Every time I’ve met with my lawyers… they have to talk about how horrible the economy is, and say things like, “next year everyone in the US is going to be filing bankruptcy they way interest rates are headed.” Watching an airline fold without warning brought up a lot of worry for me. I feel a lot of stress to find a job to make ends meet because as M put it the other night, “pretty soon there won’t be any jobs at all.” I feel worried about owning a home in a market that’s collapsing. I feel stress about owning cars and thinking of moving to an island in the ocean when gas prices are going to skyrocket even further. The cost of everything is rising due to the price of gas. Meanwhile, I’m struggling to pay a few bills.

I don’t know much about economics… I’ll blame a shitty public school experience partly, and lack of interest for it. But I do know we’re in a recession. Another reason I would really love to shed myself of a lot of things I don’t need and want. I really haven’t focused much on the new presidential race… and I’m going to start right now, because I really hope we can get someone in there to help turn things around. Maybe I wouldn’t be so concerned if I had a job, if I wasn’t being questioned by my mom night and day about this move… if my clothes weren’t falling apart. I’m gonna fight like hell though to keep my head above water. I’m gonna fight like hell to make ends meet, to have my freedom, to live my life.

I’ve got a lot of potential, this I know. I’ve got some great ideas I’ve been sitting on. Now’s the time to work hard on them… to get them going. Now’s the time to try and make a difference. Now’s the time to put my heart and soul into all that I do so that the results exceed my expectations. Now’s not the time to wallow in worry.

Last night I poked around deviantart.com and got inspired. I found some artists that were really great and excel in the areas I would like to get better at. I think it will be a lot of fun to dig around more and push myself to master styles that I like.

It’s a new week and I’m putting on a new mindset. I finished reading Anthony Robbins’ Awaken the Giant Within and he challenges you to 10 days of not thinking negative. So I start now. I’m going to do the exercises where you ask yourself what’s great about this problem? What’s not perfect yet? What can I do right now to change that? etc. I’m going to make this my most productive week ever. I know I say this time and again… but I’m a fighter, and I’m not going to give up anymore, no matter what. I am blessed with this time I’ve had, and I haven’t used it. I’m not wasting another minute. My mindset is positive, focusing only on solutions and not the problems. My sights are set high and I’m ready to go.

And today, I get to see Elizabeth Gilbert!