The Ex and The Lawsuit

We were 15 when we met. Both working at McDonald’s… young and stupid kids. I wasn’t interested in him, especially after he threw onions in my hair. You know the little rice-like, wet onions they put on their burgers? Those are the ones. I didn’t talk to him for a week. Then one day after we had sort of become acquaintances, he came in to “check the schedule” while I was working. He did the most adorable thing…

“Hey you want to go to a movie or something?” He asked shyly.

“Sure, I guess.” By then I had hung out with a few other McD boys and figured what the hell.

“No, well okay… oh. Really?” He replied shocked.

It was like the movies, where they assume no before you even answer. Too cute. He picked me up in his Dad’s car and we went to see Gone in 60 Seconds. He was a real sweetheart compared to all the other “gangsta” boys I had previously “gone out with” at school and work. He was so sweet and innocent, never doing anything wrong. I loved it.

And his parents? Awesome. They were home at night. They had family dinners. His mom adored him and his dad was like a big snuggly bear. They welcomed me instantly into their family at a time when my mom wanted nothing to do with us girls and my dad was never home. I lived with my dad at the time… I’d come home to a dark empty house. We weren’t allowed to turn the heat on when he wasn’t there because we were “wasteful” and we certainly couldn’t cook in the kitchen without him there. It didn’t matter though because for a good long period of time, there was no food in the house. Seriously. Ant-infested stale bread and peanut butter from who knows when. Needless to say I didn’t eat there, and suddenly having a second family was amazing. Part of the reason I fell in love with him. He was this good and honest light in my life of depression and broken family. I clung to him.

After the honeymoon period… well more like after sex, he changed. Slow enough for me to not realize it. He was hurtful and mean to me. He made me feel bad for who I was. He took from my family and guilted me for having wealthy parents even though I worked hard and earned everything I had myself. I owed him everything because of it. When I got accepted into school in Colorado, he got mad at me. Mad that I didn’t ask him if he wanted to live there. He told me I needed to wait for him to go to school locally… 4 years, then work a year or so for the company that paid his tuition. I said no way. So he moved with me. Again with the guilt of tearing him from his family, he came out here for me… all that crap. I made it through school with him in tow. But he was a bum. He didn’t work and I certainly couldn’t work three jobs. I had to be home. I had to hang out with him. We took out loan money to pay for living expenses. We had to move to apartment that were “nice enough” for him. I know, I should have kicked him to the curb, but I was not in the frame of mind to handle it. It was easier to shut him up.

When I graduated I was already working overtime for a company with a full school load. We had bought a townhouse and life was crazy. When I switched jobs and suddenly had peace and quiet in my life… I realized, I can’t be with him. This is not who I am, I’ve changed for him. This is not the life I want. And I broke up with him. It was hard. It was a disaster.

He stayed in the house for a month and a half, refusing to pay (not that he had been paying for anything before). I had to leave, I got an apartment and then he moved out. He took my cat with him. Yes, he stole my cat. I was paying rent and a mortgage. Our living expense loan had entered repayment, and he refused to take responsibility for anything. Because I had broken my promise to love him forever, he was not responsibly for his half of the loan. The loan I would not have if I had dropped his ass earlier. Hindsight right?

So now we’ve been broken up over a year and a half and we’re in the middle of a lawsuit. I’m taking him to court for what he owes me… he says he owes nothing. It’s been a draining mess and I’m tired of it. Until today, we were heading to trial in April. I was scrambling to get things together, my mom was supporting me entirely and all of a sudden I got a call.

We’re going to mandatory arbitration. No trial. No witnesses and moving court dates. Sometime in May or June, we will sit with our lawyers in a room with a single judge. Present our cases. Receive a judgment. Move on with our lives one way or another. At this point I feel strongy that I’ve learned my lesson. My bad, my mistake. If I win, he may file bankruptcy to avoid paying. If I lose, he thinks he’s right. Either way, it’s over. And that my friends, is all I ask. I was with him for 6 1/2 years and I can’t believe you can’t trust people to honor their word. I can’t believe he’s screwed me over. But I’m at peace with the situation and would love to just put that all behind me and move forward. The only bad part about it is I may have to remove him from the mortgage and now that I’m unemployed, that may be hard. So good things and bad things, but soon they will all be past things.